Things That Will Never Happen On InuYasha
by Starless Eyes.x
Summary: Yeah, title says all. I hope you'll find this fic funny. Please R&R! Chappie 5 up!Rated teen for mild language and a few swearwords
1. Things That They Will Never Say

Things That Will Never Happen Disclaimer:I don't own any of the InuYasha characters...yet.Chapter one:Things That They Will Never Say:

Naraku: I like cheese

Sesshoumaru:Man, are humans cool! I wish i were one!

Naraku: Gimmie cheese!

InuYasha:(To Sesshy)The Tessuiga is a family treasure. We should share it.

Sesshoumaru:That fluffy thing on my shoulder? Thats overgrown armpit hair. (A/n:Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Sesshy-chan!)

Jaken:Will you marry me, Rin?

Random Young Woman From Random Village:I will bear your child, Miroku.

Naraku:Meow

Kagura:Naraku is so awsome! I wanna be a prt of him forever!

Naraku:(To all his incarnations)Anyone want to give daddy a hug?

Kanna:I want a lollipop!

Ok...um, i can't think of too many at the moment. Please R&R! Flames are welcome.


	2. Things That They Will Never Say II

Things That Will Never Happen On InuYasha 

Disclaimer:Unfortunately, I do not own InuYasha...I will soon, though...

Chapter 2: Things They Will Never Say II

Kikyou: I wanna frolicthrough the forest!

Sesshoumaru:Jaken, do you want to be my sworn brother?

Sesshoumaru:I like fairy princesses

Kikyou:(To Naraku) Can I have a hug?.

Kikyou:We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry...

InuYasha:I want a pink kimono.

Sango: You may grope me all you want, Miroku. (A/n:EWWW!That was random. I'm not usually THAT sick minded)

Kagome: Miroku, I want to bear your child.

Miroku:Wanna play barbies, Naraku?

Kikyou: I like being killed by random haters.

Ok, that's all I can think of. I hope you like it! Please R&R, flames are welcome, but please don't be too hard!


	3. They Won't Die This Way!

Things That WILL Never Happen On InuYasha 

Disclaimer:Unfortunately, I do NOT own InuYasha, so please do not sue.

Chapter 3:They Won't Die This Way!

Naraku: Thrown into a room full of female baboons in heat, when wearing his baboon pelt.

Sesshoumaru: Strangled by his fluffy thing, which we know nothing what-so-ever of.

InuYasha: "Sat" by Kagome until death.

InuYasha: Suicide after he ran out of ramen.

Kikyou: Killed by haters. Kinda obvious that would happen, doncha think?

Shippou: InuYasha bonked him to death on the head.

Kaede: Died of her own stupidity. (A/n: I'm sorry, but i really hate Kaede)

Shippou: Suicide after Kagome refused to give him anymore candy.

Sango: Groped to death by Miroku.

Miroku: Slapped to death by Sango.

Kagome: She actually got sick, not some phony excuse granpa made.

Ok, that's all I can think of for today. I promise I'll have more up soon. Please R&R, and check back soon!


	4. Things That Will NEVER Happen

Things That Will Never Happen On InuYasha 

Disclaimer: I don't own any InuYasha characters besides Sesshy-chan.  
Sesshy and judge: No, you don't!  
Me: Fine, I don't own you, Sessh.

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Chapter 4: Things That Will NEVER Happen:

Kikyou and Kanna have an anime sweat drop.

InuYasha refuse ramen.

Naraku decides to use the Shikon-no-tama's powers to create millions of pairs of rainbow striped socks.

Shippou refuse candy.

Miroku refuse women.

Kagome not "Sit" InuYasha for one week.

InuYasha and Sesshoumaru hug.

Kikyou NOT have haters, LOL.

Kagome trash her bike, and bring a motorcycle into the feudal era.

Naraku has a tea party, and brings all his little, wittle dollies along.

Everyone change sides.

The whole cast changes into short shorts.

The whole cast jumps up and sing the short shorts song (Who likes short shorts? We like short shorts!), while wearing short shorts.

That's all for now! And, just so that all you guys know, I will be putting up ALL the suggestions up on the final chapter. Please R&R!

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Brittany:It's just the matter of opinion. I just don't like Kaede, and love Lord

Fluffy-kins. Thanks for reviewing, though!

Hearii: Yeah, sure you can. In the last chapter, ok?

HanyouIY: Was that good or bad? I'm sorry if i disturbed you. Don't come here again if you don't like it.


	5. Unreasonable Relationships

Things That Will Never Happen On InuYasha 

Disclaimer: Just you wait, Rumiko Takashi, I will own InuYasha and other characters (hee hee, Sesshy) one day!

Chapter 5: Unreasonable Relationships (Thanks for the great idea, nekoxlove)

Jaken and Sesshoumaru:  
Jaken: Will you marry me, Rin?  
Sesshy-chan:(thinking) Gender confused, much?

InuYasha and Kaede:  
Kaede: InuYasha, will you marry me? We're both pretty old.  
InuYasha:twitching eye O.o;;

Sango and Shippou:  
Sango: Hey, Shippou, would you be interested in a relationship, if I gave you your own weight in candy everyday?  
Shippou:I think I'd be better off with Kirara...

Kagome and Manten:  
Manten: Will you marry me?  
Kagome:Why?  
Manten: Such beautiful hair...

Naraku and Kikyou:  
Naraku:Kikyou...I've always loved you so much.  
Kikyou: Was that Onigumo speaking for you?

Sesshoumaru and Rin Sesshy-chan:Rin...you are so beautiful.  
Rin: Sesshoumaru-sama...are you OK in the head?

Jaken and Rin:  
Rin: I love you, Jaken!  
Jaken: Oh, buzz off, you creep!

Naraku and Miroku:  
Miroku: You ARE lovely, indeed, woman.  
Naraku: Baka houshi, I'm a man!  
Miroku: I'm sorry. You are very feminine, though.(is groping Naraku)

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Well, that's all for today. I hope you liked it! Please R&R...No review, no next chapter! 


	6. Unreasonable Relationships II

Things That Will Never Happen On InuYasha 

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha...I will one day...I am very close to my goal...ah yes...very close.  
(someone comes and put a straight jacket on Sakura)  
Sakura: Curse you, baka wench!

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cough Anyhoo.  
Chapter 6: Unreasonable Relationships II

Shippou and Kirara:  
Shippou:(nervously)Kirara...I'm um...kinda...er...I think I love you...(blush)Are you interested in...in...starting a...a relation...relationship?  
Kirara:Mew?  
Shippou:Er, yeah, right...(thinking)Whatever THAT meant.

Sango and Naraku:  
Sango:You slaughtered my father and comrades!  
Naraku:Yeah, yeah, whatever...you want to be my girlfriend?  
Sango:-.-;;

Miroku and Kanna:  
Miroku:Will you bear my child?  
Kanna.  
Miroku:You are so beautiful.  
Kanna.  
Miroku:I love you.  
Kanna.  
Miroku:Say something, will you!

Sesshoumaru and Kanna:  
Kanna:If you don't marry me right here and now, Sesshy-chan, I shall suck your soul into my mirror.  
Sesshoumaru:(thinking)She actually talks!

InuYasha and Kagura:  
Kagura: You ARE rather handsome, hanyou.  
InuYasha: I ain't interested.  
Kagura: Ramen?  
InuYasha: Umm...well...

Buyo and Kirara:  
Kirara: Mew?  
Buyo: Meow!  
Kirara:Purr.  
Buyo:Purr.  
Bystanders?;;

Kohaku and Kagura:  
Kagura: Young human...what a looker you are!  
Kohaku: I love no one.  
Kagura: Shit...Naraku made this boy forget all about love...

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I hope that you liked it! Please review, or I won't put the next chappie up.

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BITCH THAT CANT BE BROKEN: Thank you!

Kanon-Chan: Ok, i will, for the next chappie...unless no one reviews! (glare) I'm going to use your friend's joke, ok? If you don't want me to, tell me through review.

FanstasyFreak: I have no idea what it is, but i know that the fluffy thing helps Sesshy-chan fly.


	7. Author's Note

Author's Note:

I'm sorry, but there will be a delay in my Fanfic, because I am officially on vacation! YAY! Anyhoo... I don't think I can update untill the week after the next...but there might be some sort of a change, so please check back! Sorry for any inconvenience.


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